A thought unfolded just earlier. I see a number of views on various discussions with few participants. This is normal and to be expected. The thing that concerns me is that we, as a group, are not normal and to be expected. I started to get a feeling that some, if not many, of you might still feel like the "different" one in the group.
As a courtesy, I would like to welcome all of you in this situation into the private (all encompassing/not private) club of our own misfit community. Some of you might remember the island of misfit toys in the Rudolph Christmas special. Some of you are not old like me and didn't see this show. The point is that we all feel this way effected by the nature of our separation. Remember, all of you were led here even if the notion seems preposterous and the reality of how you came to be here is a very simple one.
However you got here, The Superbeings/I-Zero.oners (thank you for getting rid of the goofy name, JD), are normal people who have trouble believing in what society tells them to believe. Many were/are New-Agers. Most of us here have shed a lot of what we thought we are (I still identify as a Christian!) and are on the hunt for truth. Truth, however is a contextual experience and is not to be confused with fact, which is largely subjective anyway. The point with this filtering of understanding is to help introduce you to a less concrete way of processing your experiences.
I would like to invite anyone who dares subject themselves to ridicule and abuse (we don't actually do that sort of thing) to share your story. To reach out and get to know us. Many of you are guarded and that is understandable considering the paucity of reliable data on who you are ... why you are here ... will you ever be able to find what you seek?
First, remember that the Earth experience is for learning and experience. We were never meant to create a better world here. There are other places for that but you are here to experience what it is like to battle for a better life or simply to battle for life itself. Why else would the world be a hell-hole?
Second, we are not some cult where we follow our glorious leader into whatever better life we've been lead to believe we are meant to live. We might do some weird stuff but that is only because it really isn't that weird to us and can be kinda cool. You might also not experience anything at all which can be disappointing but I must strongly remind that this is completely normal. The world is discouraging and we don't like to be the same. In the simplest of terms, we aren't big on judging anyone. We've learnt that it only affects us indivdualy anyway. We are only capable of judging ourselves which we are stil not very good at especially considering how much practice we have.
So, I've created this discussion group with the sole purpose of allowing people to vent their fears, ask questions about all the crazy stuff we talk about, and to find the very real and awesome benefits of a community that you might fit into better than you might have thought. No matter what you decide, every choice is yours and only yours to make. We will respect and honor that choice because that is who we are. This is probably the reason we don't have any trolls - we're no fun!
Fulfillment in whatever floats your boat,
I see you Mike. This feeling of loneliness you refer to, I remember when I first traced where it came from, because its been with me my whole life. I once had a wild experience doing kundalini yoga, where I relived moments before my birth. I experienced the bliss of the ocean of one, but also what it feels like to get yanked out of there and right into a body that felt like it was made of stone. The contrast between oneness and having a separate physical body in a split second is pretty brutal. Its a wild ride right from the start and it was hard to work with a feeling that I couldnt really explain. Since then this loneliness transformed into a kind of subtle loning. I kinda wanna go back to my family, but I also really enjoy what I have here and my life seems to unfold over time and get better and I also enjoy this blossoming of my mind, veil after veil being removed and life experience transforming. Also burgers, pizza, bacon, beer,... man food here is pretty crazy.
Thanks, Jakub. You bring up one of the brutal aspects of this path which is a reality but I have yet to find anyone who regrets the decision. Also, the family thing rings a bell with me. There is less and less that I can talk about to anyone really as I move deeper into this way of thinking. I've been trying to navigate that. I can always just listen, but it is hard to want to share things that they don't want to hear. I think it pains everyone when you have to close shop on a part of yourself that is so full of life. On the flip side, when someone asks what I've been doing, I can still say something to the effect of, "Working out the mysteries of life," and no one takes me seriously. I like that - it cracks me up. Sometimes we find ourselves simply ready to take the next step. So ... we jump - usually very slowly and after multiple attempts!
My story is kinda odd,
From a young age I saw my parents beating my older siblings so I had begun questioning their authority, I was raised in a religious bubble which gave me a philosophy that was absolutely out of bounds with the world I encountered. My parents didn't care about my own sensitivities, nor were accepting of me asking too many questions so I simply just withdraw from them and I saw them as strangers. My friends were abusive to me in more ways than one, I had an absolutely horrible childhood and in order to survive I had to let go of my identity as Paisios and become someone else. I view psychopathy is the complete surrender of the self to a body-based logic - the ego. I could construct who I were because nothing mattered, no emotion vibrated... only this cold steel logic that allowed me to 'think for myself'.
I remember a deep sadness which I felt in my most intimate moments and I created chaos around me in order to escape from it. Oddly enough, people liked this self-creation, but I didn't.
In a crazy turn of events, I allowed myself to feel as Paisios felt and I accepted my own narrative/ my history/ my past and I become a heavily depressed person. After the choice to become myself I begun meditative practises and managed to heal from a lot, the incentive was a girl who made me look who I was when i was drunk. I would have loved to say there was someone for me after that, but there wasn't... I was admittedly terrible to a lot of people.
Long story short, I experienced the perfection and absolute sense-making of the non-dual headspace and I have some astral projection stories, stories about the planet's pantheon and their symbols of mind but none in my field of experience cares/cared for these things so I became interested in something that can be shared to a wider spectrum of people. So from the previous university degree of English Language & Literature, Master's in Applied Linguistics I managed to make an 180 and I became accepted to Med School
The capacity to apply myself enough to pass to Med School (because I had to self-teach myself Physics,Chemistry,Biology) is all owed to the mental state given to me by the application of A Course in Miracles. Morality is just another way to the One-ness, this path has some amazing highs. It allows me to do great work in synchrony with the cosmos.
I have conscious access from 0 state to my present state and I can contribute major insights FROM ALL OVER down there to here. From hell to heaven my friends. I stil have some ways to go in order to trust completely my Mind but I'm pretty high up there and I feel and I live it. I know it's strange to say, but this story is what I identify with and my actions struggle to escape from the modus operandi laid by my history.
I sometimes am sad because I have had to learn to socialise from scratch and throw everything away. I built so I could destroy, assembled so I could disassemble. it's funny how it all just 'here' , there is such littleness to the body when one ponders the sizes of the mind that creates the universes.
Like anything I channel from my handlers, this post was given a layer beneath of which I am only now seeing. My original thinking was fairly simple. So simple I won't even mention it. Paisios, my story is similar with some difference in the details, such as, I was a charming drunk who was encouraged to be that way, unfortunately. What I really want to disclose, is that what I thought would be one type of discussion has turned into something far more than I could have ever asked for. In other words, I'm glad it wasn't my idea - I'd much rather be humbled.
I had an experience once where I unloaded every dirty little secret I had in front of my pastor and two missionaries I had basically just met. It was horrifying ... until I started to speak. I just called it transparency. It was possibly the best feeling I had experienced up to that point. I do hope more people share so they can experience this type of freedom. Paisios, I don't know if you felt that, but I hope you did if you hadn't already before at some point.
I think everyone here has some feeling of being an outsider. We are trying to be participants in the human drama, but we still hang out around the fringe because we know something just isn't right about the whole thing.
That's a safe bet, anyway, considering we've taught ourselves how to survive in ways that withstand all the drama when the big waves come rolling in. It's just like a natural freeze and thaw cycle for us.
With everything happening on social media platforms the past few years, it's hard to know where you can even speak your mind. Then, seeing the way people get berated on those platforms make you question why you even should.
I've always thought people were strange. Even the ones closest to me that I considered to be my best friends and family, who had treated me very well. They always just seemed to be living in the world in a completely different way than I did, but together without me, and they knew it.
I suppose that could be true for everyone since we're all unique, but I feel this connection to something else which keeps me more reserved, instead of giving in to the world's temptations. It's like I'm not actually living in their world, and it makes me feel like a ghost sometimes. Maybe I am? That's how we can be treated out there.
I certainly see myself as energy, sometimes I call it spirit, but mainly energy. We are cloaked in the material world, but underneath we're just extensions of the same being. It's odd that after you connect with that, you feel like one of the very few that's actually alive and see everything else as just a script playing out and passing by.
This place is a nuclear reactor in a way.
It's okay to be alone and at peace with being alone, but nevertheless, we're all friendly here.
Adam, you have summed it up all too well. What you said about everything else looking like a script playing out I can really relate to. Yesterday I noticed something that I hadn't mentioned. When I'm out in public and seeing others as a part of the whole, I've found myself treating strangers more like old friends. It's like my family has gotten larger in a way. I don't know if they feel it but to me it feels like I just brought them into my world if just for a moment. I hope they catch on. :)
That's a great point, Mike. I feel the same way. As much as I try to distance myself from the world, I'm actually super comfortable most places I go. I haven't been around too many people (strangers) that haven't acted like old friends with me.
It's hard not to notice that I have a calming effect on people. But with that, I can come home feeling like a ball of silly putty that fell behind the couch. I'm a magnet for leeches, but it's fine. I go through cycles of cleansing, just like everyone.
I've been with the super beings since the start. But I wrote something nasty once on FB and pretty much got kicked out. I have had my share of experiences like cutting my neck suicide samurai style. Jason and Mary have always been supporting me so I felt kinda bad like I let them down.
Artem, what you wrote feels like a barrier being kicked down. I hope you feel a tremendous weight being lifted off your shoulders. As long as you want to be part of the group, I believe that is what makes you a part of it. It sucks to let friends down - I've lost count. Thanks for sharing brother.
Michael thank you so much for starting this discussion. I have loved reading everyone’s thoughts and life stories. And as Adam has shared I think we all have the same sense that we have never really belonged. Oh before I go on….Jakub your comment about “the man food here is crazy” made me laugh out loud thanks for that!
For me I have grown accustomed to and almost enjoy the not belonging.
This, however, has not always been the case and it has been a challenging path getting to this place in my thinking. I had tons and tons of help. My best friend and teacher of all things metaphysical helped me see through the thick and deep programming of this density. Once you can see past the folly it is an easier proposition to sit with the loneliness. What helps me is the understanding that with belonging comes attachments and expectations from others and this can draw you back into the drama quickly. Having said that, I am no island. And that is why I am here a part of this Superbeings experience. When my best friend passed and once my sadness at this loss tremendous loss retreated a bit, I knew I had to find “my people” and by that I mean open minded beings who see through the bs on this planet.
So thank you Michael, Jakub, Paisios, Adam and Artem for being open minded and seeing through the folly!
Until next time.