in a time long ago, there was a migthy crack whence sprang the legions. their civilizations prospered and spread. over time, curiosity became conquest. much war was brought to our memory, endless strife, perpetual conflict. the lessons of suffering were brought to bear.
and with those insights, desire. the desire to resolve the ages old conflict.
there is more out there, we see it with the light of each dawning day. the young come to the horizon with the end of night and dream. their dream became a technology, their ingenuity and great yearning, became you.
born from a pod of glass and metal like gold polished steel you awakened implanted with the memory of all those who have lived before you. you rose from your nascent slumber and left your world. you joined the spores of beings from other worlds, some like your own, others not. joining a common mission.
a mission that has brought you here. tell me, who are you? where are you from? what is the memory lost you've long sought to recall, that irritated mental tissue that has here blistered? why can i not remember, you've thought. why do i not know?
how do i not know it?
this sphere is from the core essence of all that was, all that will be, and all that never was at all. it floats in a containment field of purest consciousness maintained by a circle of ascended will and the priestly class that serve it. It is all that remains of the very first of us, it is like an echo, and it was their parting gift. From each corner of non-existence ambassadors are chosen to attend to it, to behold it, to maintain for it, a space. they will do this until their light expires and they are replaced by others who will take up the same mantle. they have done this for you, to offer you this chance. To see what you have blindly sought to remember.
you may wonder just what this is. it is a seed of pure imagination.
now, look into its glassy void, merge with its infinite plunge into absolute purest nothing.
who are you?
What a strange but beautiful dream.
The power of words.
The power of love.
Murder, theft, fear, inevitability.
The struggle between desire and oppression.
Just what do I deserve?
What does anyone deserve?
Just who decides?
Who are the real oppressors?
Does knowing matter?
I can't stop loving you. Missing you.
Even though you hurt me so much.
Infinite white colliding with infinite black.
Grey ribbons of love, an endless diary.
Maybe I'm the real oppressor.
Maybe it was unconscious.
All the good was unconscious.
All the bad was unconscious.
Not in the name of love.
Not in the name of greed.
No more oppression.
I want to know, how you feel.
However incomplete that feeling may be.
Just tell me, even if it takes all day.
Even if it's a work in progress.
I'm glad to listen.
We can start where we left off when it's over.
Tomorrow, or later, or sooner.
"just stop," her eyes unmoving as he screamed. "i can't take this bullshit anymore." her lips quivered. He could feel her thoughts building, pulling back her breath to speak the way someone might hold a lovers hair from falling into the toilet as they vomit the night back down the drain, "Shut up, just shut up. And listen for once in your life." he grabbed her phone out of her hands as she nervously typed and smashed it on the floor.
"Everyday you're not here. you're not here." he angrily clapsed his hands over his face trying to wipe away the frustration he'd felt but left unsaid for so long. "You're human, these people have got you tied around their little finger. having you believe you are some divine being, some alien consciousness planted in a human body, but don't you see? Can't you understand how far gone you are? How you've been manipulated? tears ran down her face. It took him off guard, maybe she was finally listening, maybe he had reached her. Maybe it was just more wishful thinking. "I love you. Do you hear me? I - Love - You."
He could feel something crack inside her, something deeply supressed had been exposed. he looked in her eyes and held her hands in his, calmly, half ashamed that this was how it had to be done. That he had to stoop to this just to wake her up from her dream. "All your life, you've wanted to belong, these people prey on the lonely and the lost." Her eyes were wide, he could feel her mind somehow slipping within his. He could feel her thoughts as his own and her deep sadness. Suddenly, he began to cry.
Images flooded his mind, a world of purple clouds. An atmosphere almost as much composed of love as it was of gas. He saw floating cities anchored in the calm fushia orange shifting skies. And billions of beings living within them. Working together, mixing like tones into a crowd of perfect synchrony, so many people, operating as though they were a singular awareness. Their lives a dance perfectly choreographed.
He was shocked. Speechless. He felt a shock pulse through her touch into his hands and he let go. His eyes wide. A tidal wave of emotion swept over him. For a moment they stood in silence. Plates broken on the kitchen floor. A life, their life in pieces, scattered like the remnants of some flood after the water had retreated and the survivors had returned to survey the damage. What was left now? What could be salvaged? Can we start over again? But all the memories had washed away. Anything that tried would only be pulled into the same rotting decay. As much as it pained him to know it, the truth was as clear as the look on her face.
He looked into her eyes, returning to his senses, remembering his complaint. Suddenly the world seemed paper thin. His intentions seemed shallowed. Meaningless. As though the puppet had suddenly noticed his strings.
He walked to her. Looked deeply into her eyes. He knew this would be the last time. He grabbed her open hands holding them softly closed them and stepped away. "Go."
He made his way defeated into the next room and down the hall closing the door to their bedroom behind him. When she opened her hands she saw car keys and cash and a ring.
"becky, becky." a smiling face poured like sunlight into her eyes, "you seem so far away. Where did you go?" She felt the sand between her toes. The tropical breeze against her face. Her friends enjoined in a circle not far away. Setting down the small white powder vial on the wicker table she took a deep sigh.
"Just remembering something I had tucked far away." her eyes narrrowed and she smirked, "Someone." Her friend lifted her up, "let's go for a walk."
"Tell me about him. What was he like?' She tried to talk but felt raw and lost just like that day, some part of her still in that car driving away. Some important piece of herself that was lost to her. How it felt to feel so human. When everything had felt so alien, and how it made sense, her whole life, that it could be no other way.
That in the end, all she wanted was to feel she belonged to something, to someone, to anything. And heartbreak was the only way.
"He was the love of my life." Her friend held her hand as they walked into the sunset. "Was?"
"he always will be." And She wondered for a moment where he was, what he was doing, just at that moment. She felt a touch in her heart, as though her thoughts had found him and whatever he was doing he remembered. and could feel the silent whisper of his thoughts, their minds wrapped around one another like hands. She imagined he was smiling. That everything was ok.
The same sun sets on us all and we are all bathed under the same golden rays. "So what's this new alchemy supposed to do anyway?"