Dare to Share Circle: Our Stories and Who We Are Beyond The Stories

Hello Friends and Beloved Journeyers in the Art of Life!

So many of us have been drawn to work with the alchemies offered here because we have a common connection. The friendships that have been forged here, by the sharing of our thoughts, ideas, fears, questions and experiences, are quite frankly, profound.  I know I have a group of friends where the love runs deep and where I am supported and not judged when I am wavering through whatever process I might be going through as I unravel the tangled threads.

It wasn't always like this for me. I spent much of my life with a loneliness that came from living a life without having a connection with like-mind people. I would read about people I felt connected with, or watch someone/something on YouTube that I felt a connection to, but it was as a disconnected watcher. There was no one-to-one connection. I even joined spiritual groups, but never really comfortable putting myself out there by coming forth, and when I did, I didn't feel like I was really being "seen".

For years I yearned to find my tribe of people to connect to on a "just as I am" basis. I desired to find my spiritual family, with whom I could be and communicate with on a level that was beyond what I had in my daily life of social, work and birth family. I needed to know that there were others on this earth that I could talk to about stuff that just wasn't well received or understood by most people I encountered.

It's like I had this amazing secret life that was, well, vibrating in a way that most people couldn't see, or even cared to know about! I NEEDED TO SHARE MY STORIES, I NEEDED TO SHARE WHO I AM BEYOND THE STORIES!

So about six years ago I set out on a journey to find my family. I moved to the desert, in the middle of vast emptiness and lived in my van and then in a tiny trailer. Strange to think that this is where I found my family, but I did!  Out there I magically met Dazey Ra'Kai, who introduced me to Jason. My life has never been the same since. Through "working" with Jason, the alchemies, and quite importantly the forums, I have met the most wonderful and dear people, who in the deepest sense of the meaning are true friends and my spiritual family. And a really fun bunch too!

At first, it took me a while to break out of my shyness and get the nerve to start posting on the forums. My typical behavior on websites that I am interested in, is to stay in the shadows. But you know, the pay-off for breaking out and coming forward is sooooo awesome!

So. Here we go. I dare you to share something about yourself.

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I'll start with some of my story.

I lived in Sacramento for years while raising my son. After he finished school and moved to Portland to be a chef, I camped in the Southern California desert in the Anza Borrega for several months and then moved to Shoshone California to run and chef a bistro for the summer in Tecopa Hot Springs. I ended up living there for over 3 years, moved to Taos to be near a friend for a couple of years, and now live in a sweet little garden cottage in the Mt. Shasta area.

Where have you lived and where do you live now? Tag! You're it!

When I was in my early-20s, I was going through a necessary pragmatic phase for this embodiment. Had a kind of "show me" attitude. My cousin and I were talking about the possibility of an afterlife, and he had a fairly rounded view of things as he had served a Mormon mission and for all intents and purposes should have had a "testimony" of the afterlife as pounded into those programmable Mormon heads. 

But his view was practical. He said to me, "We're all transmitters because the body, and brain, work by electrical impulses and signaling." (He was also pretty smart). "Just because you turn off the radio, it seems to me, doesn't mean the signal doesn't keep going." That was profound for me. It triggered something in me I didn't understand and caused me to start looking for stuff. What I was looking for I didn't know, but I knew that I would know it when I saw it. Then I spotted a book on reincarnation.

Since my mother had books by and about Edgar Cayce and a few other of those spiritualists in those days, I was attracted to mysticism in a strictly curious way, always looking for explanations, as an example. I went ahead and snagged that book on reincarnation, actual case histories of kids remembering every detail of a life lived in the same neighborhood in England, for example. I read and read and read, looking for every angle around it, including genetic memory, shared consciousness, depth psychology, and so on. It finally clicked in me. IT KEEPS GOING! I cried into the life-filled night. IT KEEPS GOING! It was one of my first moments of overwhelming gratitude.

I was in my early thirties with 2 small children and a husband.  We were living in our second home.  Had just put an in ground pool on the property.  I think Clinton was in office.  We had plenty of money.  Things were seemingly good.  Still...I was unfulfilled.  I remember standing in my dining room crying for no apparent reason.  It was at that moment my heart filled.  I wished only to be of service to God.  I had no idea what that meant....I just knew it would be the only thing that could possibly keep me going in this life.  I cried and cried.  Begged and pleaded to be used.  A Servant.....willing to do anything for my (at that time) idea of God.  For many years it seemed like my plea had gone unanswered.  I forgot my request.  We moved into our third home.  The children bigger now...I managing a financial service branch for Banc One.  All was well on the outside.  I was disaster!  And then my husband lost his job.  Things were about to crash when he found and took a job here in Pennsylvania.  Previously we had always lived in Indiana.  We rented for 1 year and then came across an old mansion.  40 rooms that spelled financial suicide.  We bought it.  6 months later I took my first yoga class, left my job at the bank, became an artist and began the service I had so honestly and openly asked for. 

After my little brothers suicide I was inconsolable. I cried everyday and drank everyday. I remember feeling and saying LOVE is the only thing that matters. Everything else is an illusion. I started to read everything on the afterlife I had to know he was ok and safe. That lead me to doors, experiences and new wonderful ppl.

First let me say how glad and heart happy I am to be among these wonderful beings called Superbeings.I too have longed for and searched for a place to belong.

I was born and raised on a dairy farm for which I am extremely grateful these days as My connection to nature was just who I was.At the time I resented it the farm life as it was very hard work.I started milking cows when I was 8.I could arm wrestle any guy and beat them.....my mother was so proud.I was the first born son.The beauty of this life was my love and great connection to nature and animals.I have always seen animals as humans.Our farm was also on a lake so I grew up swimming also still a great love.I now live on a lake also...the connection with water and trees is a must for me....as necessary as food and water.

With all the wonders of nature it can still be lonely.I have had a connection with Jesus/Yeshua since early sunday school and used to get so frustrated when they did not tell us the Real Truth of who he was and what he was here to teach us.I always believed in reincarnation and always knew that when something animated expired it went somewhere it did not just not exist.when I learned grade 9 physics that energy could not be destroyed It just changed form I felt validated.

I went off to school and became a nurse and worked for 30yrs with premature and sick babies.Here I felt I was doing Gods work and felt like a guardian angel for the babies.Again I watched energy come and go,difficult at times but always knowing that there were higher purposes for babies coming and some of them leaving and it was always about LOVE.

I sound so detached and pragmatic.It all took a toll on me.I had my first depression at 14.I felt very alone and Isolated....I felt deeply about most things and no one to share with.I also grew up in alcohol and abusive situation.I have had depression all my life as I feel so sad that humanity can be so harsh and cruel to each other.My sensitve/empath side gets exhausted and I crash.I read ravenously about spirit and energy and holograms and quantum all my life.I have looked for guidance and spiritual support all my life and friends to share with.I am so happy to be here NOW and going in a direction that feels so right for ME.Thank-you to everyone here and I look forward to learning and growing and RE-membering together.

I love listening to the chats like last night.I too am shy and apprehensive about sharing.

Love and Blissings.

Oh Sil...!

Such beauty and love. You emanate this radiance!



Sil said:

After my little brothers suicide I was inconsolable. I cried everyday and drank everyday. I remember feeling and saying LOVE is the only thing that matters. Everything else is an illusion. I started to read everything on the afterlife I had to know he was ok and safe. That lead me to doors, experiences and new wonderful ppl.

Hey Marsha,

I can soooo relate to your dealing with depression regarding humanity's cruelty, and your sensitve/empath side getting exhausted and crashing. I mean, I really do understand, when I take a big step back and look at the big picture, that darkness and light are all aspects of One. But God, my heart literally aches when I am directed to look at the sexual, physical, psychological, etc abuse that can appear so sinister. Like wow, what planet is this that such horror is accepted? 

My work here, with the alchemy, the SS training, the meditations and the unlearnings, are in part to help me reconcile and integrate into conscious awareness the knowing that all this is unreal. This is a hard one for me because I have a difficult time letting go of the sufferings that are occurring as a seeming part of the matrix fabric here. Lately I've been fascinated by the conspiracy of the Archon-->royals-->Rothchilds--> secret governments-->satanism-->pedophilia-->mkultra-->monarch program, etc etc etc. What the F**K!!!! is all of this incredible, predatory horror?!!!  Why? Why? Why?! 

Ok. Then I read or listen to Jason, Mary, Chance (144) and many of YOU. You all help me a lot here to remember TRUTH. To see past the illusion.

It's hard to not get caught up in the anger, the pain, the depression. But then, if I were to believe all the above-mentioned crap, I'd be feeding into it all by allowing my own dark gloom. Tricky stuff this choice business, aye?

My point with all of this Marsha, is that I relate to you.  I understand how and why we are all finding each other here. We are kindred.  I am wonderfully grateful to you and am welcoming all that you share.

Beautiful beingness. You!

And as perfection dictates, I just now read this (excerpted):

Understanding that sympathy validates suffering, she offers none; she rather prefers the empathy that allows insight and gentle correction. "Now then, the aspiration for a life filled with happiness, joy, peace, fulfillment, harmony, love; happiness rather than sorrow, joy rather than pain, peace rather than chaos, fulfillment rather than frustration, harmony rather than conflict, love rather than fear. “Happiness is your natural birthright. Why then are so many unhappy? Unhappiness is a disordered state of mind ; happiness is an ordered state of mind; there are many more disordered states than ordered states. You dwell in a disordered state by default and conditioning; you achieve ordered states by process of mind; each condition, event, situation, form and person is brought into your life by your thoughts and the images in your mind’s eye, which in turn arise from your deepest beliefs. The secrets of happiness are awareness and action, the exercise of energy in a way suited to a man’s nature and circumstances.”

She expresses her thesis with brilliant fancy. “Each man is already a prince, each woman a princess; they need only to bring that recognition into awareness to realize their inherent ability. The absolute prerequisite for the acquisition and manifestation of intuitive knowledge and direct power is the awareness that such knowledge and power are available.”

Hawking, M.G. (2014-12-21). Kalika-Khenmetaten, the Supreme Egyptian Adept - Ancient Secret Knowledge of the Great Female Master (Kindle Locations 376-379). . Kindle Edition.

Empathy that allows insight and gentle correction.....how perfect.

Yes and the fact that this is an illusion.I keep forgetting.I feel like I am walking with one foot in one world and one foot in another.I know which one is real but not ready to let go of the other.I am on the cusp of letting it go and feel all sorts of emotions.I say that what I have been searching for is Truth and when it is put in front of me I hesitAte.....no more.I have this week free and am going to commit to SS training.

I am ready to spread my wings and be the Superbeing that I AM.

I acknowledge that such power and knowledge are available and am going to be disciplined enough to pursue it.Thanks for the above Molly and thanks for wholeheartedly welcoming me.

Sil, Marsha,Jason Molly and all,

Thank you for sharing your stories. If I can think of anything that I have loved my entire life the one thing I crave more than anything it is stories. I love it when people tell me about their fantastic and colorful life.  No matter what it is, I am amazed and honor your journey. It is pure enjoyment to hear to read. I have always been a curious student and love reading and researching and writing.

I grew up in North Carolina, had a pretty solid and normal childhood with a loving family and at 18 found my way to the mountains in the western NC. There I was introduced to more expanded community of spiritual seekers, new age bookshops and conferences, ( that would become all sort of banal after some time) high vibration ley lines and healing arts. I went to a small utopic college which was fun but I was utterly confused about what I wanted to be and do and at that time found a dark period of major stagnation taking over in the form of physical illness with devasting effects. I went from being naive, smart, adventurous, to unsure, profoundly sad, cloudy minded, low self esteem, apathetic and terrified of everything. I was afraid of growing up and for taking responsibility and of my own power. I was confused and it all seemed impossible to navigate.

For the majority of my twenties I felt horrid with some breaks and breakthroughs scattered around achieved after monumental efforts. I struggled with chronic illness and pain which without the right treatment got worse and worse, I struggled to work despite a muddled brain and fatigue, to connect in spite of shyness, to conquer depression and anxiety especially about making my way in the world. I was afraid and as a result my world b/c of my perception was utterly overwhelming and full of things to be feared. It was a bad feedback loop.

I came to understand that my thoughts created my reality and worked very very hard to change them. I must have written thousands of affirmations.  I did not know who I was and I struggled to find meaningful and enjoyable work. In an effort to heal my body and mind I plunged head first into educating myself on my own about herbs and nutrition and I went to massage school. I was attracted to healing arts but never REALLY connected with massage but was more likely just trying to buy time to understand how I wanted to be a healer. I learned so much in that process but I was really just trying to heal myself first.

I got married to my then longtime boyfriend, moved to Columbia SC and we moved to start a new chapter together. I needed work and there was a better bigger job market in Columbia then the tourism industry in Asheville so I got a job temping and then as office manager at a non -profit.  At the time I was involved in a Buddhist group that chanted. This helped me break out of some limiting beliefs but also created its own internal superstitious prison for me. There was a feeling that I was getting too involved in something was very dogmatic, almost cult like and I felt a major plateau in my practice. I cannot explain it but I just left this group one day driven to do so because I was not being true to myself but leaving was also devastating because now I had nothing to hold onto- no prop and I went into a tail spin of a void spiritually. That jump off - that willingness to move beyond dogma to something else even if it meant nothing at all was how I made jump to find the Superbeings and the alchemy. 

 I went to the bookstore, drank too much coffee and lay in the aisles reading all the books on spiritual paths and not really finding anything to replace it gave up trying to find the one path that would answer all my questions. I sensed a sacred thread inside and allowed it to guide me. Creativity found a hold in me through the art and music projects with friends and the archetypes of the Iching guided my understanding of the dynamic present unfolding in my healing process.  

Even though I was making more money than I ever had with benefits and bought a house and living the American dream I was profoundly unhappy.   had a friend who prepared me for the Blue Emerald philosophically. 

 I found a healer and doctor of chinese medicine who actually knew how to reverse the condition I was experiencing. I spent the next 4 years delving deeply in healing my body and mind on the strictest of healing diets.  As my healed my mind and emotions did too. As my emotions healed my body did as well. I was still stagnant and confused about what I would do when I got stronger physically. I felt that my marriage had elements that were ultimately unhealthy and that we had grown away from each other but I was unwillingly to face that horrible and painful truth. One day in 2010 I had a dream that I was walking in a flea market. I approached a man who had a kiosik of huge smokey looking quartz crystals.

“They are black emeralds” he said to me. I asked him “do you have any blue emeralds?”
The minute this came out of my mouth I felt strange as though this question had triggered a feeling a memory that was waking up. I walked off in a daze trying to recall something. I woke up.

It was such an odd dream so visceral and lucid that I went to work and in the streaming sunlight of my office googled “blue emerald” and found the blue emerald alchemy product page.

I was stunned. Being versed in health products and familiar with the principals of alchemy I had no idea that REAL alchemy existed and had never heard of monoatomic gold or even ORMUS for that matter. I was rocked by the products and the testimonials and wondered if they could help me on my healing journey which was going very well but very slowly.

Eventually I found the forum which was called The Blue Emerald ( previous earlier incarnation forum than this one) which was run by DAzey Ra’Kaia and Jason before we became the Superbeings. I connected with the site and began an even more mindblowing chapter. I was BLOWN. Could it be true? Is it too good to be true? Who ARE THESE PEOPLE? Why am I so attracted to this? I lurked on the site. Reading reading reading. I wanted to make SURE I was not getting involved in a group that would manipulate me. I wanted to be sure. After 4 weeks of lurking I made my order and joined the forum in earnest. The moment I did changes began happening. Rapidly.

I could read on the pages from 2008 when it started to see the progression of people who started taking the alchemy and who had literally grown over the years. I could see it in their posts. At the time Jason had what was called “UNTEACHINGS” (which will be brought back.) To help people wake up and stay woken up along with the alchemy. Those were one of the tools.

The tone of the Blue Emerald was very direct. And I was used to cheerful or soothing tones of a mentor. The tone was one of Boot Camp and that was just to understand that it was TIME to wake up. It was not being mean it was just direct and I was not accustomed to that. Tone is not very translatable in text so I was both fascinated and turned off at the same time.

I thought Jason was this arrogant jerk who thought he was enlightened like a Buddha. HAHAHA! I never heard his voice on a radio show or had a session with him or met him or talked with him. I just read his writings and I did not agree at all with the things he posted or wrote about. Some I did, others I did not want to be true. BUT I kept coming back to the articles, unteachings and eventually they made sense to me and I knew they were TRUTH.  I saw it in my own life with opened eyes.

All I found out was how wrong I was. I watched the truth of the unteachings which he did not even invent b/c I started finding them everywhere. Eventually, something happened after about 7 months or so of membership. I felt a true connection develop and I wrote Jason and said okay. I am sincere now. I know you what you are talking about. I would like for you to be my teacher.

In between that time the alchemy was working on me. Some really crazy stuff was happening to understanding. I am leaving so much out but - I began to tell the truth. I began to feel joyful free and my vibration went up. This inner strength dissolved my attachments to people.  This cost me my marriage. I felt ready to do so and I separated from my partner. I had no plan. I made a leap and trusted that living my truth would be my support. It was. Everything started to change for me. I let go of co-dependence. I stopped seeking approval though the eyes of others. My health began to improve rapidly and heart became lighter. A ton of emotional baggage was released. I became clear. Strong. Integrous. I learned about love. Self Love and respect. What it really is.

A wave of magick took over and I have been riding it ever since.  I connected with some members of our forum in person and they became my instant family. In July of that summer 2011 I flew to Utah and met my sisters and brothers of our forum in a huge camping party one of our annual bashes ( don’t miss it)  in the Uintas. It was incredible life changing and rocketed me to incredible places and states of being. I was never the same. I met Jason and an instant and deep friendship/kinship that bloomed into a relationship later. That winter I moved to Utah and became the operations manager of Blue Emerald Alchemy and now the Superbeings. I love my life, everything about it and all that has happened. All the adventures that this opportunity gives me. I continue to grow and learn and the alchemy helps me staye centered clear and balanced and expansive.

  I love serving you all and an excited for the things that we are learning. Thank you for reading.

 

I also love reading our stories here. How I ended up here was a string of coincidences that is that magic I love seeing of  Infinite Minds beauty. I had moved back in with my Mother in 1987 after my Daddy passed away. My parents were 44 and 53 when I was born, so my Mother was in need of help at that point due to failing health. My High School friends that I still had contact with at that point only cared about partying, and had no interest in Spiritual matters. I was "sent" to church as a kid, early on with my older sister, later by myself. It was pretty tough as a very asleep, overweight, poor kid to be going to one of the biggest churches in my hometown here in NC. I truly had an experience at that church when I was in about 3 grade, my parents saw it on tv, and when they asked me about it when I got home, I cried. I cried from sadness because the other kids that walked the isle that morning had their parents there to celebrate. I can remember feeling like floating as the minster offered the invitation, I wanted to be closer to the one thing that would never forsake me. 

So  back to the time in the 80s when I moved back home, I went to this little Pentecostal church I had attended before. Over time I could see how they manipulated people. One Sunday I left feeling ok when the minister said God would never leave or forsake me. The very next Sunday he said if you were not in church you were out sinning, and if you were out sinning it put a brick wall between you and God.  I left that day with a bad feeling, and how dare him try to separate me from the one thing that would never stop loving me or give up on me. So I went back one more time, sat in a different place. I had the clearest vision I have ever had that day. I saw the congregation as a bird nest, with us baby birds sitting there with our little beaks open, taking in whatever he said, straight down the gullet. I got up and left, and was angry at not God, but the church for a long time. This put me on a path of my own, I would start finding my own truth. So when I went to this church I was smoking cigs, and to be a good Christian you shouldn't smoke. I went up for prayer to stop. I was having horrible detox symptoms and a lady there told me about a Chiropractor that helped her, so I went seeking help. That led to the best part of my life, as he had me to attend massage school. Then as I started my practice, and started working on people, I had to rely on ideas that came from my higher self, because I had no one here to consult with. I learned at that point to go within for guidance. At this point I was still mad at the church and it's lies, so I relied on myself for answers. I would like to write at another time how I came to find Alchemy...

Mary...Thank-You so much for this sharing.Its interesting how different yet similar all our stories are.How clear it is that it is time to come together and get on with what we are here to do or BE.I feel truly Blessed to have found The BlueEmerald and The Superbeings.I first connected with Peter Schenk and Jasons name came up there.I have taken monotomic gold before but it is hard to find good quality.I know a teny tiny bit about alchemy and am so willing to learn more.I look forward to unlearning or unteaching with all of us.<3 


Mary Betts said:

Sil, Marsha,Jason Molly and all,

Thank you for sharing your stories. If I can think of anything that I have loved my entire life the one thing I crave more than anything it is stories. I love it when people tell me about their fantastic and colorful life.  No matter what it 

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