PSS: In the session initiation, I was sitting with hands in lap, holding my larger Puramyd. It felt like it had a heartbeat of its own as I held it in my right hand. It started heating up as I held it and the throbbing feeling continued. I switched it to my left hand and that continued for a time. After leaving the cave portal, I asked to be taken to the Crystal Temple. Here I didn't really visualize anything but I felt a lot of new physical sensations, like it felt like my closed eyes were scanning the scene back and forth of their own accord. I saw lots of pale yellows and green flashes behind my eyelids. At one point, it felt like my mouth was clenching and my body was tensed up. After about 5 minutes of this, the sensations died down and it seemed that I was cleared to move forward.
Initially, it seemed like this scene was an icy outside environment. I got these blasts of dark dark blue glowing objects. And a sense of giant, disembodied eyes watching through slits. It felt like an open expanse and quite flat at this point. Outside space was airy, cool, and empty. I asked about inside space, although I don't think I was in a structure at this point and it seemed immense and open. It seemed like there was a lot of symmetry, almost kaleidoscopic across the vertical. Some white triangular structure, kind of like a church steeple. I also saw something that seemed like a big green fruit with blue veins/lines throughout. For tastes, it seemed like it was nutty, granola, slightly sweet and toasty smelling.
As I moved through the session, it seemed like I was encountering lots of distinct objects and it felt less like a giant cohesive scene. In Phase 2, there were lots of blues, greens, greys. There was a glowing orb. For textures, something smooth, and also something or someone furry.
Mass and dimensions were solid/heavy, but mobile. Later there a feeling that even these solid heavy objects were actually ephemeral, as if a pinprick would burst them. Materials seemed like stone and also air.
Structures were triangles, an orb (glowing), circles, arrows, trapezoids, and pyramid shapes. There was some feeling of upward motion, also a feeling of an object dividing into itself (fractally is the best way I can describe it). There was also some flying and flapping motion.
For concepts, I got gratitude and glory. And for purpose, I couldn't stop feeling that the purpose really was an introduction, getting to know you. It was generally a quiet scene, or perhaps I couldn't hear very well yet. For phonetics, all I got was zooooooomm, babump babump, and some throaty sounds like from a person.
At first, it felt like I was "presented" to a pale yellow being that was sucking information from my "grid" (these were the words presented to me) through a funnel-like mouth. I also saw a scene of trees by a gurgling creek, but this seemed more like VR than "real" (almost like I was being shown elements to make me feel more comfortable). Next I got an outline of my laptop and hands on the keyboard. It seemed like the objects, Kara's hands included, were in wireframe renderings. There was a furry creature hovering in the distance in the air watching. Finally, there was a bright glowing orb at one point, with its light cutting through any fog/darkness.
For movement exercises, I asked my guide / escort to take me to the most relevant vantage points. It's a little hard for me to keep track of the order in which things were happening. It's like things kept popping up, without much relation to what was seen prior. Almost like a movie with random scenes one after another.
I do think that when I asked my guide to take me to new vantage points, I first got the opportunity to see my guide. I could only see his head (he presented as having male energy). And he seemed to have a large triangular shaped head with flat, straight objects jutting out on either side of the head. I couldn't make out any other features. I said hello. He didn't respond, or at least not verbally.
During the movement exercises, at first I was taken back to the Kara-desk in wireframe, looking at the laptop and the Puramyd to my left in sharp relief. It was at this point that I got that sense of object ephemerality.
In the second movement exercise, I felt like I was guided to a water element, almost like a fountain where the spray and mist was landing on my face and arms. It felt rejuvenating. And I got the sense that I needed to be re-energized because there is much work to be done. Then I saw some flashes of circles inside triangles with a wave form coming out of the side.
After this went blank, I asked to guided to another point (ME3), and it felt like I was being told to move on to the next Phase. I have to note that I took a pause to do the clear mind tool meditation again because I wasn't sure if I was making all of this up.
For the Off-load, I felt guided to use pyramid as the term although I wasn't seeing many pyramids but maybe it was the impression of the Puramyd that kept cropping up in view. I included for attributes: triangular, Egyptian, burial, dominating. And for non-things: esoteric knowledge, mystery, awe, wonderment.
When I got to Phase 4, more random objects appeared here and there. At one point it seemed like I was observing an angular hook-like object. There were also some old, falling apart figurines floating around. And a giant, green edible plant (like a vegetable). Finally, I thought I saw metal blades like in an engine. For non-things, I got layers, edges/borders, healing, and rotating. I actually used HEALING (inner and outer, levels not known, apprehension about conditions, not knowing the true state of things, intuition) for my wild card. I couldn't really put the visual objects together so I just recorded and tried to stay open.
At this point, I felt like there were lots of wavy drawings / inscriptions, and an insect with very large wings landing on my shoulder. For themes, I picked welcome and integration. It seemed like an artificial scene with people, animals, and plants.
In Phase 5, at first I chose to focus on the large winged insect. I forgot to ask permission to observe though. It seemed to be flying around in circles. It had long, spindly antennae with big, yellowish wings. I kept falling asleep in approximately ten minute increments in this phase. And finally came too entirely after about 25 minutes.
As I ended phase5, I was feeling rested, but also my arms (just the inside areas) are itchy with small hives like I'm having an allergic reaction to something.
So, I'm left feeling again like I have no idea if this is coherent or not. Certainly to my earth eyes, it feels pretty random and all over the place. It seemed like I was being taken all over the place physically as well. Certainly it felt outside of or perhaps beyond what could be captured in a single frame. Things felt vibrantly alive, with lots of objects moving in and out of perception. It almost felt as if they were presenting themselves for inspection. Also, it seemed like there were various persons observing my observations with some curiosity?
After having completed many ABS training exercises, I have to say I'm hoping this wasn't some giant hallucination on my part. I suppose I'll find out soon enough when I do the reveal! And if so, I guess it's back to the drawing board..
PSS: This time was much faster through the cave and the Crystal Temple. My very first impression was of an explosion (fiery) blossoming like a flower. It was beautiful and awe inspiring and not at all frightening. Next I saw what looked like a giant dove, looking backward over its shoulder.
This time I asked to be taken to the lake for chakra cleansing. First I was bathed in yellow and I was shown the triangle forms I drew in one of my sketches. It seemed similar to Masonic imagery (the compass?), of which I have only a very passing familiarity.
Next, I was bathed in orange. This time I had the impression of a phoenix rising from the ashes, all beautiful, full, vibrant plumage. Also of a tiger, all powerful and potential energy contained, ready to spring into action.
Finally, I was bathed in deep blue. And this time, I had the sense of energy waves imminating out. The words telegraphing and beacon came through. And I was told, "you are this now."
This was all preparatory for being taken to a location. I was made aware of my guide, who today was a giant preying mantis. I said hello and thanked him for being my escort. For the rest of the session, I couldn't see my guide, but I feel that he was always there with me.
The scene felt cool and dry. There was a strong sense of red soil and earth. It felt like we were outside and it was empty. The sounds were of music, flutes primarily, not intrusive. The tastes were buttery, sweet, and lemony.
Then I got the impression that this was a gathering place, an outdoor circle with stone seats around the perimeter (jutting up at regular intervals). It seemed like there was a portal on the ground just southwest of the circle. It seemed like a place where beings gather to discuss disputes and resolve conflicting interests in a peaceful manner. All here are equal and it seems that people can speak at once and still be understood. Important to note that I didn't actually witness a circle. I was just shown that this is what happens here. There was also this hovering orange presence (kind of like ectoplasm?) over the entire circle. It would descend on the circle until about waist height for the seated participants, and this seemed to signal that a consensus had been reached. The decisions of the circle would then be trumpeted out to those not present. The orange presence transforms into a giant butterfly and flies away carried on the winds.
Next, I was taken away from the circle to a large and solid red wall, the same color as the earth. It seemed to be carved with a stylized butterfly image beneath a triangle top (like a steeple). The wall was rough hewn to the touch. It was large and deep and made of stone. It seemed somehow related to transmittal of information.
When I asked to be taken to the wall, I sensed that the entrance was through the insect carving. Putting two fingers each in the "wings" and thumbs in the body and push. As you step into the wall, you actually merge with it. I saw crying stone tears. And I got a sense of oneness with the wall, seeing the history of the ages. Feeling what it is to be an observer, a witness, unmoving with time and energy swirling around. Being the "rock" for those that come and go. This is the experience of the wall. But the wall also has a sense of ambivalence about the activities around her. There is no changing to be done. The energies around flow of their own accord. There is nothing that needs to be done.
I asked to be taken to the center of the circle next and I felt immediately on all fours crouching in the middle with my nose nearly pressed into the earth. It seemed that there was a large isosceles triangle in the middle of the circle with shoots from the top (almost like a teepee). The ground was a rich earthy red and it seemed to be made of dirt/soil, but the imprint of the soil also seemed set and unmoving. It's like the earth was at once particles of dirt and stone. I can't quite describe how this is possible in 3D terms, but it was definitely this kind of dual state. Finally, it felt like there was tremendous energy imminating from this space. Transmittal is again the key.
When I got to Phase 4, there were more insect impressions. It seemed like it had eyes in its wings. A sense of being an emissary of peace and accord. The TC was not to be dragged down by duty, that there is a duty to something larger. For my wild card, I selected butterfly, with wings, colorful, flying, dancing with the air/wind, antennae, light, final stage of metamorphosis, jovial, delicate, short-lived, beautiful, ephemeral, joyful in its being. This observation of the butterfly being short-lived set off some panic in my 3D body as I wondered if this were a message for me. Tried to set this aside for the time being. It felt like a natural scene, with land and animals/insects. The these were celebration and contact.
In Phase5, I fell asleep again for some period of time. While I was awake though, I saw insect bodies, stylized and almost like arrow tips glowing white and descending through my frame of vision.
I had come today hoping to ask some questions of higher mind, questions that have been weighing on me for some time. I'm just going to copy and paste the Q&A here. (Note: I felt a little self-conscious about making my personal questions available to the point that I thought about not posting my session. But I felt like almost like a contractual obligation to share what was shared, openly, honestly, and completely. It occurs to me that some level of vulnerability is what allows growth and letting others see our exposed thoughts, fears, and concerns, can be a beautiful way of being vulnerable.)
Q: I feel so focused on money and survival. How can I make it less so?
A: This is as it is to be. It's perfect. Embrace it. Let your interest in money flow through you, unimpeded. Don't make yourself wrong about it.
Q: Is it OK to manifest on this plane?
A: YES. It's what you came to do. Through creating and manifesting, you touch the greatest number of people. Open yourself to what has always been around you. It is through the universal flow that all needs are met and beyond. If you only knew what was possible, you would not believe, could not comprehend. There is only the blossoming from within that is necessary. Open yourself completely and the light from within will shine forth into the world making all things possible. There is no work on this plane that must be done. Only the work that you are doing and will continue to do. Trust in this. There is no work on this plane that needs doing. Only the work within. Continue to do this work and all other needs will be met. Your paths will be opened in manifold ways. Trust that you will be given the space, energy, and time for this unfolding. Trust. Love and receive.
Q: And how will I pay the bills now?
A: Have you ever been not able to pay the bills? Let go of your concern and go out and create. Create with all your heart and soul. Let your creations be your guide. Create, make, be heard. In each and every moment, create. Let your thoughts be joyful and overflowing creations. Riotous explosions of color, sound, love, and joy. Open yourself to the creations that would flow through you. When you open yourself, the floodgates will blast over any concerns about money, bills, lack, or withholding. Only you hold these wonders back.
Q: How do I stop holding myself back?
A: Go walking. Every day. Go walking. Walk until you cannot understand how you ever did not walk. Walk and walk some more. That is all that needs be done.
Q: Anything else for today?
A: Nothing. Go be now.
And on that note, time to put on the sandals and get out for a walk.
I feel goosebumps on my arms and grateful for what I was shown today. Am I ready to live this life so open and completely? I felt so strongly of being a beacon. That walking, circulating, being among people is my duty. And if I attend to that I will not have worries about anything else.
I am pretty speechless. This is amazing. WOW. Rocked.
Beautiful, beautiful Kara....thank you for sharing!
What wonderful and magical visits you had! Your write-ups really brought them to life. And congratulations and welcome to the ABS Graduates Circle!!
I have found that when I am willing to be open and vulnerable I come to understand and know more of who I truly am. There is really only YOU/your conscious awareness (appearing in many different disguises, forms and experiences), which loves and supports you -- "here in the physical" -- always. So continue to trust and be open, finding joy in everyone and everything that comes your way and you'll be amazed at what you discover about the real you.
Thank you for sharing this.. I really love what you say here. It's easy to forget in the density of this 3D existence that we *are* loved and supported. And that is what makes access to expanded awareness such a gift.
Nancy Lovell said:
There is really only YOU/your conscious awareness (appearing in many different disguises, forms and experiences), which loves and supports you -- "here in the physical" -- always.
So on my last two visits, Xupra felt very earthy/brick red. Tonight the colors felt much more pastel-y..pale blues and pale lavenders. A much softer palette this time. When I first came tonight, I asked to spend some time in the Chakra Lake. I'm copying my freeform descriptions here with some light edits for readability.
Phase 1 Freeform:
Rough day in Earthland. Lots of anger, frustration, and an end to the day with copious and (semi-)cathartic tears. And yet, still the hard core of anger lingered. When I came to Xupra, I asked after the Crystal Temple to be taken to the Chakra Lake. I wanted to just float in the warm, loving waters and feel supported, loved, and at ease. And I can feel the hard pit of anger and rage-iness softening already. And now I'm feeling an overwhelming feeling of compassion for my husband.
It feels that there is a teaching on love/self-love tonight. I felt so alone and unloved today. And I believe I'm being shown that what I thought was lack of support is actually a lack of self-love. If *I* loved more, the love would radiate from me and I could not help but be floating in a sea of love, regardless of what happens around me. And truly if there is just ALL then love and self-love are one and the same.
Even as I type these words I am still in the Chakra Lake, floating without a care in the world. Sometimes Kara at her desk needs the nudge, the encouragement to let go of the small self's concerns and issues. I'll stay here just a bit longer before I ask to be taken to what's to be seen on tonight's visit. (As an aside, thank goodness for touch typing... it's wonderful to be able to capture thoughts without having to step out of the experience to write things down on paper. My closed eye writing is much less developed. But maybe one day second awareness will take care of that too. *smile*).
So to continue, it's easy to radiate love when things are going your way. And you need to radiate love even more when things are not going your way, because it's the way to ensure you keep swimming in a sea of love. It seems so obvious and yet I find it quite hard to execute when I'm feeling anything but loved/loving, when I fall into what I'll call "separation thinking."
As an aside, I'm beginning to feel that the dragonfly, which has been my spirit totem for many years, has some heightened significance here on Xupra too. I had the experience this evening of the eyes watching again, but in the form of a stylized dragonfly or as if the dragonfly were superimposed over the eyes. I came asking to be loved and instead I'm being asked to be loving. I'm grateful for these bonds of frustration to be loosened. Also, I think I'm being told that while I have a theoretical, glancing familiarity with various mystery teachings through my learnings on TSB and elsewhere, I'm not ready yet to have the experience of them. But that patience is as it should be and that being open and a willing student is what matters most at this point in time. I kind of don't want to leave the Chakra Lake. Just a little bit longer...
And after some time...
When I moved to Phase 2, it felt like I was being presented with something large, and imposing. The visuals were pale blues and pale lavenders, soft, misty, amorphous. The surfaces were smooth, cool, solid, slick, and hard. Seemed like a circular object with metal poles and a dome. There were also gases / foam, and a liquid pool in the middle of the circular object. The liquid pool was purple and more viscous and shiny than water. The circle was spinning in one direction and the vortex of the liquid was spinning in the opposite direction. The purpose of this object seems to be transportation, getting from one place to another, and yet, the object seems fixed in space (it's moving, but it's fixed). The sounds are zzzha-shush-zzha-shush-zzha-shush, gentle and rhythmic.
Here was my freeform description which I think sums it up:
This feels like a mode of transportation, a way to move from one place to another, but what's hard to understand is that it feels stationary. It's like you're moving and not moving at the same time. It's circular, with a dome, almost like a merry-go-round with spaced poles / places for people to ride. In the middle there seems to be a swirling whirlpool of purplish liquid, more viscous than water, but very glossy and high sheen. It seems that the outer circle/platform and the inner liquid are spinning in opposite directions.
There's something to learn here about transforming your thoughts as a means of transportation. I'm trying to get still enough to understand. It seems that when you're using this transportation, it's what's around you that changes. It's like what's around you changes rather than you moving position. This feels like a teaching on the nature of energy and "materiality" but I'm still a little foggy. Let me stay with it a bit to see if I can understand better.
Also, as an aside, the dragonfly eyes feel like a teacher. They keep coming up in my field of vision, as if instructing me.
So, it's like the circle machine loosens your thoughts, or breaks the bonds with what you currently see around you, so that you instantly seem to reappear in a different location. This is the best way I can describe it. "Suspend disbelief in what you're *not* seeing. This is how you translocate."
I asked to see the circle machine in action. And I was taken to what feels like a deep sea place. There are lots of white, wavy, frondlike things. And bubbles. And it seems to be watery. So one minute I was on land in this pastel blue/purple environment, and the circle machine translocated my awareness / transformed the environment around me to this white/cream-colored deep water scene.
This is fascinating because in Earthland, we think of locations as being fixed and we're moving through them. In this construction, our awareness is fixed but what's around is transformed. I wonder if it's possible to do something similar in 3D. In other words, can I keep my awareness fixed and have my perception of location shift all in 3D? Or is this purely a higher density possibility?
Phase 4 felt like a third different teaching for the night. This time it seemed to be about surrender and letting go. The primary object was this feathery, lightweight material blowing in the breeze. I used BANNER as my wildcard: waving, symbolic, pointed on the ends, made from cloth/material, allegiance, serious, war, medieval. And then when I asked if it were related to the circle machine, I got CARNIVAL for another wild card: merry-go-round, streamers, maypole, fabric fluttering in the wind.
Here's my P4 freeform:
Dancing with the air. Beautiful, artistic, unexpected, improvised, must remain nimble, loose, fearless (fear causes the body to tighten and it is tension that inhibits the grace and beauty of the air dance).
It's a symbiotic creation. The banner and the air are separate but together creating a beautiful expression of movement. The banner on its own without the breeze would lay flat and limp. The air on its own cannot be so vividly seen and visualized. Together they transform into an act of artistry. It seems that my consciousness is like the banner, and this life experience is like the air. In surrender, the beautiful dance can unfold in all its *intended* glory.
The visualization of the movement brought this to mind and gave new perspective on why these wavy line prints appeal to me on some primal level. http://www.theartparty.gallery/aaron-tinder/noise-threshold-1
I stuck with the banner for the second awareness practice. The scene morphed into a pointilist view with these vividly purple dots outlining the shape of something, possibly the banner. It's like seeing layers of "being," first the material/banner in the wind, but then the underlying points of, is it energy? I'm not entirely sure. More to come, no doubt!
That's all for tonight. My theme was surrender. It was an artificial scene with wind/breeze and a mind-bending circle transportation machine.
The message from Higher Mind in Phase5 was a simple invitation: "When you need to feel more loving, come for a visit."
And indeed, I feel a million times more loved, comforted, and loving. Thank you Xupra!
The scene started out and felt like evening in a cool, dry outside scene. It felt like I was alone. The atmosphere was serene and quite still, with only quiet, ambient sounds. The topography felt flat and close in, but also vast and deep in a way that's hard to express. It smelled woody and there was a slight saltiness.
Out of nowhere emerged this beautiful rainbow light show. Started in the deepest of purples/indigos, morphed into blues, and then violets and reds. The colors were all pervasive, and deep but still translucent. It was as if the colors *were* the atmosphere. It was very peaceful and calming.
Next I was briefly shown what seemed to be the wall from previous sessions. Except I was seeing the end of the wall. It was beige, dull, made of solid, heavy stone. Rough hewn to the touch. It was large, tall, rectangular, with a real sense of gravitas. I used imposing and focused as the concepts in this phase. It seemed that the purpose here was one of reconnection. As I was drawing the symbols for P2, it seemed that I was taken away from the wall and now saw a triangular structure from the center of the symbols very clearly.
The triangular structure is red, maybe covered in tiles. It's high and pointing to the sky. No beings live here, but it is a sacred place. It seems to telegraph knowledge in the form of blue dots originating at its base. The knowledge is everywhere, which is why no beings are necessary. It's like it's all inherent in the atmosphere. The atmosphere is actually sentient is the best way I can try to describe. It's like a broadcast station, but the messages are subliminal, so different in that regard. The work is done without effort. On some level, you've already agreed to be "upgraded" so it just happens seamlessly in the background.
Next, I thought I saw something that looked like a spinning top, but when I asked to be taken to it, it turned into this gray picture with thick red outlines. Seems like a stylized image of some kind of plant or flower. There's also a ledge here.
I skipped P3 not feeling like I needed to unload anything. When I got to P4, I had a sense of a high mountain peak. There seemed to be snow, or somethign cold, white, wind-swept drifts. The air seemed thin here too. The themes were also realignment and contact. It was a natural scene without any beings or plants or vehicles.
My experience in P5 today was very interesting. Before, I used to try to see with my human eyes when I would do second awareness exercises. Today I was given a new realization, that in fact I have a mechanism for "seeing," for visualizing, within my head, behind my Earth eyes, a few inches inside my head, perhaps aligned with the pineal gland? The visualizations began to be crisper and more vivid than before. Very interesting!
The image I saw was this. At first, I saw a zap of ice blue current, like electricity at the top of the scene. Then the whole scene became infused with this warm red, orange glow that was physically warm and comforting too. Then it seemed as if a bright yellow light started to break through from behind, as if through cracks, and gradually took over the entire scene. At one point, it seemed that I was watching a bright yellow flower (like a daffodil) blossom and within a small being sitting in the flower. Everything turned this bright, vivid yellow color.
Within Phase 5, here was the Q&A:
Q: Is it true that the true vision comes not from my human eyes but from somewhere deeper within?
A: You already know the answer to this. You have been searching, and now you are being shown something very valuable and powerful. Use it wisely. You do not visualize just by closing your eyes, but rather from letting the mind force within project onto the screen of the mind. Practice seeing with your "inner eyes" and watch what happens.
Q: What other teaching do I or others need right now?
A: You are progressing at the right pace. Do not make yourself wrong for being unable to come as much as your human self would like. It is all perfect. There is time needed for new information to be digested as it were. This time is unfolding at its perfect pace. You may always come for peace, love, and comfort. But there may not always be instruction. Sometimes it is necessary for the cycle to unfold at is own unspoken pace. Do not rush, little one. Do not rush.
Q: This is a practical question about earth Kara. Should I go ahead with this book?
A: It's entirely up to you. Doing or not doing will not impact your greater trajectory. But if you feel it would bring you pleasure to do the book, you should do it. It's not the game changer you think it could be. That will come later. At the same time, there may be a valuable lesson in the "worth" of things. You get very hung up on the dollar amount of things. You've made some progress over the years, but you still have internal blocks around the abundant nature of the world and what is available to you. It might be a very valuable lesson about letting go and letting the All provide for you. But again, it is entirely up to you.
In closing, this was a very quiet, gentle visit. I feel peaceful, calm, quiet and at ease. I didn't feel the presence of anyone this time. The big watching eyes (my mentor?) didn't seem present at this time. I also didn't feel like i had a guide with me. So it was different from past visits in that regard. I'm excited to try working with this new understanding of vision and second awareness. For a long time, I had been asking to "see" better. More to come!