Do you produce art, dear friends?

If so, feel free to post it. 

I write poetry

https://allpoetry.com/Newks

I tried making it into a rap, but it didn't work very well, I seem to have an odd sense of rhythm: here

I also play the lyre-harp, which admittedly is a cheap yet very fun instrument, makes a very gentle companion and always lightens the atmosphere! Interestingly, the ancient Greeks used their harps to induce astral projection and healing!

I'm considering buying dizi/xiao, which is a bamboo flute, as inspired by this. Every part of the world seems to have its own reed flutes and it's very magical; archaic yet romantic. In fact, refined ears seem to appreciate them a lot, from Tchaikovsky (here) to Rumi (here)

I also have a cheap midi controller/keyboard and I'm learning to compose my own music on Fruity Loops 10, but I have a lot of things running on the background and thus, don't contribute much time to play around with this particular thing.

If you're artistically inclined and want to share a piece of your soul, then help yourself! Let's get to know each other! :D

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It's a very personal piece, you can't be giving orders or this type of advice to a typical reader: present readers excluded. Thanks for sharing, might be helpful to others too!

It indeed functions like a series of sticky notes, you speak softly to yourself almost like writing a guide on how to become the person you want to be... I regret to announce that in order to become the person you want to be, you have to be prepared to experience all the opposites from these, so in a way, you are kinda blocking your own way by frequently glancing at these, you block experiences because they are not aligned with your 'vision' of who you need to be. I say, let the universe decide what needs to be remembered, then you won't need as many pathfinders anymore.

I know you exposed a very delicate part of yourself and I sincerely appreciate the fact that you honoured this thread with what worked with you. But Adam, your desire to be a better human being (which is relative btw) will not be fulfilled by incantation, but by surrender to God-Will to shape you accordingly. 

Don't be afraid to not be the things you set for yourself: God is beyond good and evil. There never a need to remember wisdom, it's etched in your DNA. Wisdom is also the reason for fluency, because it has become more than words, I can pick any series of words to dress it. Another person's wisdom is only knowledge to you, isn't it? Live it to learn it.

:)  


Adam Guimont said:

I wrote this one at the beginning of the year and re-read it whenever I start to feel lost.

Drop here!

Thanks, Paisios!

You actually brought up a some questions that have been on my mind. So does surrendering mean allowing ourselves to be manipulated and lied to by others? Does it mean allowing ourselves to be attacked and threatened?

That almost sounds like I should never stand up for myself and just let everything that comes my way happen, even if someone means to do me harm.

Not all my venerable sir! I said surrender to yourself, is your self pathetic and autocatastrophic? Then allow others to destroy you. But if you have got some spine in you, you stand up to others precise and in accordance to your thoughts, emotions and physical stressors. Believe me, you need both experiences, you need an aggressor and a victim to be a hero, you will have to play all three roles at some point. Rest assured Jesus knew what he was talking about, but he also had knowledge of past,present and future, he realized deeply the ephemeral nature of wrong-doing and the cascades that action brings. But you are not Jesus, neither did you incarnate to show the world the path of the Lamb, the one who is willing to die for others who are not even aware of number beyond one hundred.

Surrender to self means to see what you're on about, what you find interesting in life. Is it instinctual to kick someone back when they kick you? How about when they kick others? How about when you kick others, do you enjoy it, would they deserve it? These hypothetical reveal a truth to you,that truth is how you would naturally react, you do not repress that natural reaction because Jesus told you so, if you want to be like Jesus, you better accept that this idea is there and see whether its the right time to let it all out. 

I'm practising intuitive eating and I'm wondering constantly, would I enjoy this food that myself has given me the urge to eat? If yes, I sit down and eat, if not, I ignore. Similarly to you now, you receive a thought to push someone to bully a grandma on the train and he's alone and you receive the thought to do something, would you do it? What does your self tell you to do, and what do you do?

This is how you become a God, a world-shaper. You listen to yourself and see if it works for you there and then, if it didn't you you will know, if it did you will also know, the heart will tell you. 

Do you receive the idea that someone is trying to take advantage of you? You stand up to them, because that was likely the most logical thing to do. Jesus was a special being, he's very difficult to follow, he's what happens after enlightenment, Jesus became great because his self told him to heal people and not resist arrest, what does your self tell you?

Don't fret my friend, even if you make a mistake and don't listen to your gut feelings and thoughts, the resulting negative emotion and after-thoughts will be your guide to align your thought-process and plan of action in a similar event in the future. 

That's what self-confidence means, your ability to confide in your self!

I couldn't be Adam, I couldn't be Jesus, I couldn't be Mary, I could only be Paisios and whoever Paisios is, I am, as my self-hood makes itself known in time. So should you, dear friend, rely on yourself and not other people's wisdom to base your ideas off the world. 

Here's something I wrote, I'm not too happy with it but it'll do:

So sat the human idea,
on a throne made of time.
Yes, it too, is divine.
The words from its mouth betray,
a benign status not found in hearsay:
"Engulfed none,
but enwombed the Sun,
What number are you,
you can't be One."
Upon reverberating all that,
Rich light aligned posing as my trifling rind
as an emotional tide drowned the mind
to manifest a self as a whole naked hide:
Was boundless, now with a left and right side.
I abide.
...
So on, I joined and marched as my kind does,
to everywhere and nowhere - each step less fast.
I feel the need to ask,
do you know where we're going and replied 'who ever does?'
There and then I stopped and was left last,
My heartbeaten chest raised to bask
"I will lead but will you trust?"
so I broke my stance,
Sat on a silver road shone by the stars:
Whose satiety do I pray find?
They seem to know theirs,but I don't know mine.

So I pass my time...

Inubriated by a loneliness that my self knows best to hide,

A compass in my chest points to a top and bottom divide

I take off my feet and begin walking to the sky

This was the pole of a frenzied mind. 
...
My heart points at ME, what direction do I go?
There is no road any more,

much less a home,
"Come inside" the voice said, "and carry on.
Each step you take, is at least, your own.
The moon relies on others for light
so when others leave, the dark eats it and shadows fight.
Aspire to be the Sun, the ruler of your world.
All life shall arise by your humble abode.
But to do that, you have to surrender to God.
-Oh my,oh, what a name-drop!
....
-Distance is set between you, 'till illusions disappear,
So cast aside all known notions of fear;
Every little thing is sent because He wants you to see clear,
little do you know, He holds you so, very dear
and has flexed many parts of Himself to even get you here:
Though He is everything, as different forms does He appear.
Every thought, emotion and tear;
All is necessary to guide you out of this human idea.
He knows you because He's you,but can you hear?

Drop here!

Your words are comforting.

I suppose it's natural for a hermit, like myself, to see the world as a dark and scary place. When I wrote that poem I felt like the only safe place was in my own mind, and so it was a way for me to carry that inner strength out into the world.

I am still very cautious, shy, and reserved... but only because it's comfortable (I'm way out of my comfort zone on this forum).

Writing certainly does help break out of that. I'll share more when I get to a better place mentally :-)

I can relate, my social life is lacking as well. But my guides have allowed me dream lucidity to get around that. Just walk around and follow your heart.

I went out to eat Chinese fast food and a cashier looked at me and smiled due to me breaking the ice during the checkout. I smiled back and my head automatically dropped, I wasn't embarassed, but I'm not used to seeing people take notice of me I left behind a tissue rose and went shopping. As I was leaving, I passed by the shop and she immediately responded to my gaze out of the myriads of people walking by., she smiled and I smiled back but moved away, laughing all the way to the exit, I saw other laugh with me too, it was a symphony. It made me feel very special, man, the whole universe conspires with me as it does the to everyone who leans in and lets the moment flow, ready for humiliation or triumph. All that just made my heart flutter and I plan on returning tomorrow after I submit my MA dissertation to honour my heart. I realize that my inability to connect with others brings out toxicity, like the desire to masturbate and that's just a no-no. I know lust all too well now, but I've had to lose myself in sin in order to stand ontop of it. Demons are teachers, did you know that? They might not have consciously intended it, but they've taught me so much, as did every other person I would call irrational, asleep and all that bogus. It's ego bullshit, you are attenuating your own identity by saying 'oh but I'm not that foolish as them fools, hohohoho' - sipping wine, while wearing a monocle.

Don't be afraid to follow your emotions my friend, I began cultivating this connection when I picked up intuitive eating and my, what an experience. I've gained weight and lost my 4 year streak of being shredded, that girl seemed to like me despite that and that just shattered so many illusions I've had in my subconscious. We're all deserving of love my friend, I've been living for years without it, love chased me away because I would simply burn. Now, I exhume it, my guides play dress up in my dreams to keep me company, they love me this much, I'm tearing up as im typing this... man, we're all deserving of love. You've been hurt before and that made you withdraw into your armor, but this is not the way to live life: you gotta believe me man, the rewards outweigh the risks. Have you ever seen a flower bloom without withstanding days of rain, if the flower stayed in its bosom, how would it make the world so much more beautiful? The dance of geometry inside it, gives lessons to us on beauty and aesthetics, the smell, of the wet ground, the suffering of being accused without reason, throwing punches and getting punched, the feeling of walking around people who carry shanks in their pockets, knowing in your heart, that damn it, this is my life and the risk is exhilirating! The pain, the love, the agony, the drunkedness of it all, we're liviing it mate. Why keep yourself away from it, withdrawn and closed. Open up, the whole cosmos is conscious, you are part of it, in fact, you are the centre, play, eat to your hearts delight, smile with a smile that lights up a thousand suns man, this is life, the heartbeat of a sugar high, the adrenaline of messing up your words because you're overwhelmed by another person's aura, the humility and humanity of admitting that you indeed messed up and wanted to say something else, don't you see it? It's beautiful! What reasons have you not to smile? Think about you're opressing, walk around and see how many 'NO's' you come up with. To hell with it all man, life is so so short! I'm just going to float off and become a memory, and you know what will last?

This, put your heart to your chest, feel it, that's what lasts; The high.

Not the words, not the aesthetics of our form, not power, nor money, all that matters is how we make others feel, make yourself feel nice man. You kinda owe it to you. 

I love you and everything you stand for man, you're  a beautiful being and I hope you get to experience more out of your life, so follow your emotions, investigate what you say 'no' to and experience it for the sake of experiencing it, you'll get good at 'improvising' life gradually. I've had many failures. 

Sincerely, Pai.


Also, meditation helps, maybe try mindfulness, I wrote a very short guide a while back, it's easy, you just check whether you have a thought in mind constantly.


Adam Guimont said:

Your words are comforting.

I suppose it's natural for a hermit, like myself,

Drop here!

Hello Adam, 

I am gonna share this. I had an experience. I was alone. It came on like a wave of information.  I was altered,  I will leave it at that and in that midnight journey I had the distinct overarching experience of being the only thing. The ONLY ALIVE THING.  Not even alive but the only aware thing anywhere.  It was not a joyful moment for me. Not liberating but quite terrifying. I had ZERO recourse but to accept that all of my deepest joys, love, the story of my life was as valid or real as the entertainment we put on to watch. It was gutting. I knew it before intellectually and then I experienced the inside of being ALONE and it was HEAVY to say the least. 

I just sat at my dining room table and cried and cried and cried and cried absolutely horrified, repeating the words WOW WOW WOW over and over amazed and yet I felt these terrific waves of physical euphoria while my brain melted into a total despair of finality of what I had just learned. The fact that I could not even call Jason to tell him about this milestone of awareness was part of the absurdity of the joke and it hurt so much. Why do that? It seemed insane to me. I had the impression that if I opened the front door everything was going to like space trash untethered and floating and dissappearing and I would be staring into the void. 

I was just literally going to to call up a hallucination?  Why? The emptiness of it all was traumatic. It's not an awareness that I could keep however, because no matter what I am in the story and I have to be here and I have to live it so I may as well get with the program and enjoy the experience of the lie.

  I have a feeling though that it was just a "stop along the way" onto some deeper understanding. Why it expressed in terms of despair or horror, I don't know. It could have just as easily exploded me into joy and laughter where I realized I was the mark in a terrific joke. There was no true loss of ego there bc in sense I felt a bit victimized by larger self and angry and sad about the loss of the "realness" of my life. I did not feel gratitude at all but just terror at the infinity/finiteness of the conclusion that stretched on forever.

I thought GODAMMIT no wonder we give ourselves amnesia and do this again and again. Iwas angry that I made it all up and that I forgot and got attached to it.  I began to wonder if Onlything or god was just terribly lonely in its self awareness ( of course that's the filter of what I was feeling in the moment) and that we generate these endless stories just because we can? Because we have eternity to play with?

While I eventually recovered from that night, it left a strange scar. It was probably a necessary experience.  I think if I had stumbled upon your poem it may have been a balm as I recognize the good council it offers a weary and tired being that knows probably too much for its own good. It's a good compass when you feel like a diver that can't tell whether they are up or down in the darkness. 

Thank you.

Adam Guimont said:

Your words are comforting.

I suppose it's natural for a hermit, like myself, to see the world as a dark and scary place. When I wrote that poem I felt like the only safe place was in my own mind, and so it was a way for me to carry that inner strength out into the world.

I am still very cautious, shy, and reserved... but only because it's comfortable (I'm way out of my comfort zone on this forum).

Writing certainly does help break out of that. I'll share more when I get to a better place mentally :-)

Pai, 

May I call you that? You are a  true troubadour and there are not that many of those. A scribe, Ahakepeare and as always I love your insights and how you always give another angle that sheds new light on something. Love the beauty going on around here. 

--M

Paisios Papapavlou said:

I can relate, my social life is lacking as well. But my guides have allowed me dream lucidity to get around that. Just walk around and follow your heart.

Yeah of course. Call me however you like and thank you for the compliment,

You're all so precious, I would hug everyone if i could.

Also Mary, that's how a psychopath feels 24/7, but the feeling of loathing God is not guaranteed to be there, neither are the emotions you felt. This is the beginning of every psychopathic thinking pattern, the total separation and detachment; absolute self-reliance. 

Believe it or not, the negative polarity goes out of its way to achieve this, it's paramount in getting you to act according your bidding unhindered by most eusocial frivolties.


Mary Betts said:

Pai, 

May I call you that? . Love the beauty going on around here. 

--M

Thank you for sharing that story, Mary!

I thought I might share something I kinda stumped myself with when I wrote it. I have a friend who sometimes just responds with the word "yes". I asked her once if it was a specific yes, or a more general one. She said it was the latter. This sparked my curiosity, and I thought it might be fun to explore this word a bit. That was a few years ago.

Upon rereading what I wrote from this desire to understand, I realized it seems to resemble philosophy, but I feel it is only poetry as it makes me feel, but not think. So, here it is. It's a short one.

Yes

Yes. The word existing only as itself. Unfettered. Unhindered. An answer to all questions. A statement of trust, faith, and love. Simple. Pure. Whole.

A paradox of unusual character, it doesn't want to form as its traditional opposite. Instead, it transitions to silence. Unassuming. Warm. Content.

From this, a second opposite appears. The lack of an answer. Honest. Empathic. Gentle. Existing as before, in faith, but remade.

The third opposite simply dissolves away. It cannot exist as No, because it knows nothing of it. Emptiness has no meaning here.

Wow. Simple but absolutely beautiful. The power of Yes. 

I like this because saying yes especially when the gut reaction might be too often NO for some of us and that may indicate fear, closed, cold potentials, yes opens one to the infinite possibilities and gifts that YES could bring us. I am not saying that no boundaries are always a healthy thing sometimes No has it's own gifts but I could see the power of YES in so many situations and to encourage us to find our own answers, reasons and meanings as well as encourage trust, faith and love. 

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