I wanted to share a bit about what brought me here and how TSB relates to my life.
It was over 15 years ago when I started to have some strong spiritual experiences. They pushed me onto a path of learning and exploring many different topics such as ancient history, religions, philosophy, consciousness expansion, astrology, healing arts, health and wellness, and on and on. I didn't grow up with religion in my family and was never really told much about God, but left to explore and understand it in my own way.
As a teenager, I experimented with recreational drugs and noticed that they affected me differently than most of my friends. They always seemed to make me more clear headed and focused. In some cases, I would become telepathic and also travel outside of my body while acting completely normal in the environment... watching tv, talking, eating. Everything revealed itself as just energy and made strong impressions on me, which helped, as I seemed to be able to avoid trouble before I knew what was coming.
The summer of 2005 ended with me dislocating (or relocating?) my shoulder in a fight with a friend. It didn't hurt but felt like it released a blockage from a previous injury (like I threw it back into place after many years). After that happened I felt something that is difficult to describe, but it lasted for several weeks from what I can remember. It felt like a giant ball of energy was surrounding me, which acted like a shield, although it seemed more like a cloud of psychic energy. It gave me heightened extra sensory perception which showed me more of what the mind could do.
The first strange encounter that I had was at a restaurant. I walked in with a friend and the cashier seemed to get blown away, literally, like I had a gust of wind following me. I mean, she didn't move much but looked like she jolted a bit, got wide-eyed and jaw-dropped. Then she took my order. After that, she turned around and gasped to the cook and said, "Did you feel that?".
The second strange encounter was at a friend's house. As I was standing next to him, he said something like, "Dude, you just shocked me." "Say what?" I said. "Yeah, it felt like a bolt of lightning went through me; all my hairs are standing up." I don't think it was more than 2 or 3 days later until he had a seizure while driving and crashed into a pool. Fortunately, he ended up being okay and went on to live his dream of playing his music.
Then I remember sitting in my room but traveling all around town astrally, visiting friends at their houses. I could feel myself flying around and had some control of it. I was just observing, almost like a ghost. The impression that I got was that I never fit in there (the town I grew up); I had to be there for that point in my life, but it was time to go.
It seemed like the whole world was turning on me after that. I could sense what I perceived as evil and it scared me, but I also sensed an army of spirit guides/helpers during that time as well. I was able to find peace by reading and getting involved in developing my spirituality. I was interested in reiki, plant medicines, meditation, chakra balancing, Edgar Cayce, Wayne Dyer, I was soaking it all up and couldn't get enough. I even started teaching a class called "Mastery of Self" on a spiritual forum. I had prepared an outline for what I wanted to teach and ironically only got through teaching the first quarter of it, which was several different clearing methods. I guess the rest of it didn't really matter.
Eventually, I got to a point in my life where I really needed to start a career and get myself ready to be an adult and all of that. For some reason, that led me to an alcohol problem that nearly took my life several times, that I can remember.
Some number of years went by where I was drinking alcohol every day and eating the standard American diet (so pizza, cheeseburgers, hot dogs, soda pop... on top of the alcohol). I've since stopped all of that, but gained and lost about 100 pounds in the process.
My turnaround from that destruction has been going on for the past 4-5 years. It's a long process of destroying old habits, balancing out energy levels, and trusting intuition. The more layers that get peeled back reveal just how toxic the world we live in actually is, it's disgusting. I continue to become more and more sensitive to things that I consume and find that the more I purify the easier it gets to continue that path, but it can get obsessive.
I feel myself transmuting energies all of the time, nobody else really recognizes that, they just like to be around me. I've always been somewhat of a space cadet, too. I'm someone that will sit in a room of people and might start smiling or laughing from the different things going on inside my head, and then not be able to explain any of it to anyone. It's usually not related to whatever is happening in that environment, but something that I'm listening to or watching in my mind. It's like having a different channel that I mentally tune to. Some people think I just don't like paying attention to them.
I've been trying to clear the signal to whatever that is for as long as I can remember. Sometimes it interacts with me in a way that's directly related to something I'm working on in my life, like a guide. My best impression of it is that it's just the best version of myself trying to get through to me, which I consider to be the higher self.
Reading through this website makes me laugh, because it's pretty close to the sort of information I wanted to get out but never found time. It's also at a level beyond anything else available, and something that I consider to be another exciting adventure for a curious mystery student. There is a very strong, clear signal here... and it's very much a healing space :-)
I've always believed that regular purging, purifying, and traveling lightly on the middle path are some of the most basic principles of spiritual living. It seems so simple as a concept, but this life has a way of testing patience, strength, and aptitude when it comes to doing the right thing.
Some interesting terms that I've heard before in other places are "homo spiritus" and "homo luminous", which I was reminded of while reading through different pages on this website. I think the evolution of our own species is not something people just sit and think about and how it's currently affecting them. It makes a lot of sense to me that we would be going through it at this point in time. It's difficult but necessary. It reminds me of watching a baby starting to do things on its own.
Anyway, the point of the title of this post, is that I read something on here about not belonging anywhere, not having a home. I often find myself nesting wherever I end up. I think this is a great community and I plan to spend a lot of time here helping. Although I feel like I've just drifted by, stopped to refuel, retool, learn some new things, help other people figure some things out while I'm here, and then wander on to another adventure. It's almost like a rehab facility for lost souls. Thanks for the hospitality!
Thanks for sharing Adam. I resonate with a lot of that, being a traveller and nomad myself and every only stopping by temporarily, getting an impulse to return down the line. And only figuring out the reasons much later.
I'm also interested in keeping things simple with energy clearing and connecting to the higher self (quite a lot of over-thought around the place). It's definitely not easy being an automatic transmuter of other people's energy. Them boundaries are important.
Best of luck in your travels, space cadet!
Man I love it when folks share like this. It's great to have you on this journey and thank you for sharing your beautiful story. We welcome you to stay as long as you like. We are like a refueling station for the wanderers I think. Some stay a long time and some carry on after they get what they need to give or receive.
Anyways Blessings to you!