I wrote this one night, shortly after "Awakening"
I Figure it is a good post to throw up here to break the Ice.. as I am new here.. Hello! Wonderful People! :D

Getting it together.. Getting a Grip.. Energy of Life.. Hacking Life.. Exit the Matrix
(Fyi This is long, so dont click "more" unless you are ready :p )

Ive recently had an epiphany or two or 3 or 4 or 5... epiphany being like light bulbs going on when you figure out a solution. or get an idea.
And it was especially crazy because i completely felt like i understood my purpose in life, like a veil was lifted, or the cloudy haze dissipated. and the very next day at work I had a woman come out of her way to get my attention at work and tell me god sent her to say hi. (true fucken story)
Problem is i don't know how to properly express my thoughts in words. i'm trying to learn wisdom and it is a tough lesson for me, i never would consider myself wise, not even close. more like carefree.

I have always been a seeker of answers. why is the world so shitty? - was probably one of the first questions i ever asked myself. why can i imagine good things here, but everywhere i go it seems like the only thing people can imagine is new ways to die, kill, or destroy, or mainly conquer. but conquer what? Do you have the desire to go outside and tell all your friends and neighbors that you are the boss now? to give you all their stuff and bow before you? If you do, you are going to be very lonely in your heaven. be it life or death.

I've always had a hard time understanding why the world had to suck so much, and why the fuck did i have to be here for it. this shit sucks.. that kinda thing. trudging through, "Making the best of it"

But thats really all we do isnt it? Make the best of a bad situation. Many of my friends will tell me that they are doing fine and they dont need anything else. but why do we live by
"it could be worse?" That fear of regressing back to the old days of jesus has nearly taken over. What about the saying "It could be better?"
Thats the idea of hope. Of positive influence over negative.
Hope is a powerful tool, but even hope has its limits, as it comes with the possibility of failure. What If you reached even further and said "It Will be better."

You've heard the saying, the tree cannot grow to heaven without roots that reach to hell? or something like that..
It is a good analogy. How can a child grow to understand what pain is, without having been hurt?
It is a sad truth for us here, as we live in a world that has known much of hell.
We can all see the images of it. they are everywhere around us, images of jesus' hell on the cross, images of demons and fires, and cataclysms and floods, and radiations, and bombs, and wars, and disease. every species, every plant, every fish, every ant.. :o every everything is in jeopardy at all times.
Its fuckin Brutal. But why? How much can you yourself do to stop all that madness you hate?

I have thought of joining green peace, building community centers that are self sustaining, joining the programs to save the bees, donating blood, community gardens, donating organs, participating in research studys, doing surveys, volunteer fireman, suicide hotline call guy, running for prime minister, but every one fell short to me, so ive become paralyzed, stagnant, wallowed in doubt, and fear, and anxiety. what do i do!!??

There is only so much one person can do. Not saying in terms of a lifetime, but in terms of the moment. I want to make magnificent music, but i can only play one instrument.
and even with a computer and loops, it is still only my own creative influence, and hence my limits. I will never be able to make the wonderful and surprising sounds of an orchestra, but i can still practice and thoroughly enjoy my own part.

Applying this to life. You can only do what you can do.. Looking after your friends and your neighbors, family, even joking with a stranger, Lift them up above you. Because they are, and they will lift you with them. Everyone is amazing right? some how?

As far as I can tell, there are three kinds of people. Those who believe in god, those who believe in themselves, and those who believe in nothing.

those who believe in nothing are nearly hopeless to me. this is the guy that seems to just get off on destruction, no empathy for other people, wants everything, shares nothing, pretends to be an ok person once in a while. less than a child in evolutionary terms and not likely to ever grow from it (though they will one day i'm sure)

Often these people come into our lives (as there are alot of them) for a while and do shitty things to everything around them, but a couple good things come from it.
We learn how not to be- from these people, and they can pick up desirable traits from you, helping them along in evolution. And though we often find hate for them, it is important to be able to empathize, as there tends to be a reason why they act this way.

Those who believe in god are often seekers, looking for answers, but they limit themselves by following others. No one religion is perfect, it is our duty to ever seek for ourselves.
To me this is a slow sect of people, slowly evolving, but because of their total belief they cause suffering, books are like buffets, you take what you think looks good from it, you don't have to take every last rotten oyster too.
I wonder at the origin of the word god. Because if it only had 1 more o in the middle, it would be more something you would want to worship...

Those who believe in themselves are simple seekers of life. And they tend to have no real strong religious beliefs, but a more personal belief system. taking what they will from any influence to help them along their course. They choose their course as they go and they are closer to enlightenment as they dont hold the same limits as others might. Though they can waver into believers of nothing now and then.

There is another type of person.. Those that believe in Us.
These people have a seemingly fake hope in humanity. they seem to be happy all the time, they are always smiling and laughing, doing good things for people when they can.
looking on the bright side type people. Id call these people as close to enlightened as you can get without actually glowing. And the word is fitting, because these people don't carry the weight of hate and anger and fear around with them, they seem to skip and hop as if gravity doesnt effect them as much.

That brings me to purpose. Energy has purpose, Matter is energy, All matter in the universe has purpose. it is ALWAYS doing something. Your Consciousness is part of that same energy that makes up the universe. You have purpose.

All people are various "vibrations" of energy. Those who believe in nothing are dense (another fitting word) energies, very heavy and the other energies eventually want to get away from them.

Those who believe in god are more evolved energies and ever "vibrating" faster as they learn and evolve, (painfully). the lightened energy causes them to gravitate up away from those that believe in nothing

those who believe in themselves go all over the place, high and low depending on what they are looking to achieve. usually able to carve a path in life and settle down where they want to be.
However there is no end to thirst for knowledge and they continue trying to evolve their mind, and eventually these people can evolve into believers of us, and live a truly happy life.

Death is no consequence, it is just another road to travel and your lesson in this part of hell is complete. their energy will move up, and your living consciousness can catch up to them. most of us are here because we want to see and travel this road, and an exciting one it will be! Starting to explore the stars and learning to live in peace. We have all the ability here to do it. It is Us that needs to evolve to that point

Once you are a beliver of us, living the happy life, you are essentially in your heaven. You found your purpose and love what your doing. But more than that the people around you are
positively affected by your energy, Causing an upward shift in energy everywhere you go, for you cannot reach heaven alone. You must have your friends and family there with you for it to really be heaven.

Here's where it gets cool.

The Earth is Matter, everything you see is Matter, but matter is a reflection of energy.
Like the difference between your head and your mind.
Your consciousness is the energy, the fleshy shit in your skull is the matter. Matter can be corrupted and changed but the energy behind it cannot be destroyed.
The Earth is a reflection of our energies. Our combined energies. And she is as alive as we are because of it. More so even when you look around at nature.
We created and we create her every day. We are very powerful energies because we are conscious.
What came first? the chicken or the egg? Both because we couldn't conceive one, without the other.
When man hunted his first deer for food, he found it because he was looking for it. We always find what we are looking for. We are very powerful energies.
Man has dug and dug and found everything they looked for. Like the god particle. And they are trying to understand how the act of observation comes into play.
Because it is the act of conceiving of it, that creates it. It is your mind.

Even deeper..
All of our ancestors everyone and everything that has ever lived that we know of, is here. Now. Deceased relatives, pets, even the dinosaurs, they are all here. In various forms of energy. They don't leave, they just learn and shift their energy upward. they can re create themselves here in a new form if they so choose, every time getting more and more lessons and ever reaching closer to enlightenment.
Learning life lessons on Earth is like playing the game on Hard Mode. because you start with nothing - no idea why you are here. and energy is dense here - everything sucks.

You know when you dream? like it feels so real sometimes. sometimes everything's like it is here with little differences, sometimes you dont even know where you are are why you are doing the things you are doing. sometimes you can fly.. etc...? You did those things. Remember the experience of falling? remember the experience of flying? or drowning? well? do you?
Everything you can imagine is a timeline that is also happening now. Even potential futures exist now. When you dream you are doing these things. its because it is happening in an alternate reality. you are visiting in your sleep. You are too much energy to just sit in a coma for 8 hours everyday. you are boundless energy so you go and do stuff. your just not supposed to remember everything.

Your life comes down to your intent and your imagination. You are the master of your universe. If you can imagine your goal and believe in it, and spread enough good energy to everything around you can accomplish anything. It is your purpose for you are conscious! You are meant to experience! It is the gift of life!

Anyways if you read this, Thank you. I didnt totally waste the night away.. im sorry about my faulty delivery, i am not a practiced author, but I did have to try and make some coherent sentences out of my thoughts. there is obviously so much more too it, but i dont know everything! i wouldnt want to! that would kill the fun!!
Guess best i can say is Dont believe in your god, believe in your good.
You are your best god, and your power is good.
Not it could be worse.. It Will be the best! :D

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